Did your parents ever give you the old "when I was your age..." line? Mine did, and truth be told as a kid I didn't want to hear it. Today, I use it on my kids. When you want to convey to your kids that they have it easy compared to what you had to go through, all you have to do is use the line. And like me, they don't want to hear it either.
Truth be told, our kids will never get it. What with their iPads, and their Nintendo's and PlayStation's. We had a gameboy with a battery that lasted an hour, if we were lucky. After that we played outside, we played until we were called to come in.
Please don't hear this as a middle aged man feeling nostalgic, I am. And not that I'm not unhappy with technology either, I use it as much, if not more than my boys do. I'm just saying that it's a different time, with different dangers and different expectations.
If I'm being honest, the when I was your age line is my way of telling my kids that I'm jealous of them. I'm jealous that they have what they have, that they can do what they can do, and they've been where they've been. I mean, Disney World? My parents couldn't have dreamed about enough money to take us to Disney World. And I took my boys for a whole week!
Still, I look at my childhood with fondness. My parents worked hard and loved us right! They provided and kept us fed and clothed and we had more good times than I can count. Maybe those good times weren't in fancy resorts or at world class attractions, but they were always with family and since we had such a big family, it was like hanging out with someone new all the time.
The when I was your age line carries with it my worries about the future. I worry that the iPad generation will never know what it means to actually have to struggle to put food on the table. I worry that this progressive culture will get so progressive that they'll forget that people actually are different with different qualities and we aren't all the same. I worry that my kids will become so unaware of how hard life can be that they'll grow up numb to the idea that not everyone can live like them.
My boys are young, 5 and 7. And I know the tough questions are coming. I know that they will soon be talking about girls and cars and lives of their own. This is where my biggest worries come into play - the world they're growing up is the complete opposite of what I try to teach them everyday. The world says that sex is just something two people do, I (will) try to teach that it's meant for marriage between one man and one woman. The world says that their own happiness is most important and they can do whatever makes them feel good. I teach that this life was given to them by God and that it ought to be lived in a way that honors Him, even if that leads them to times of hardship.
I take my role as father very seriously, with it comes teacher, pastor, friend and leader. I take them to church regularly and involve them in church related activities. My new year's resolution is to begin a kid friendly Bible study with them where we talk about Jesus and learn from Him. Our friends are Christians who hold to the same beliefs that we have. But even with all that, the world is bigger. So big in fact that the influences they'll have from it will far outweigh mine.
My biggest worry is that my kids will see the world and decide that they'd rather be a part of it and not the one I'm hoping they'll choose.
As always, this blog isn't about offering advice or answers about how to make sure you're kids choose Christ. If I could offer advice then I would have less worries about the kids. I'm simply here saying what others must be thinking, or worrying about as it were.
I do have a story I'd like to share with you though, my boys are learning how to talk to God (pray) and I am sooooo excited about it! In their Sunday school they've been praying for each other and anyone else who they feel might need it. Austin (my 7 year old) told me how the whole group prayed for him when he was feeling sick. Jaxon (my 5 year old) told me how they prayed for his foster brother when he was feeling down and out. This prayer has found it's way into our home and especially at night. Last night, Jaxon prayed for me, his daddy, he asked God to keep me safe and he did this on his own without me having to prompt him like I've been doing. Austin prayed for his parents, his foster brothers and of course for santa! All I could say was amen.
Kids do listen to you. They don't always show it, or act like it, or do what you're saying, but they are listening and watching and learning from you. The world may be bigger and have what seems to be more to offer, but your influence as daddy or mommy far outweighs what the world can offer. Your kids do want to please you, they want to see you smile and tell them you love them. They don't act like it, but all they really, really want is for you to notice them.
So if I can go back on what I said earlier about advice, I do have one tidbit for you, and it's a doozy, are you ready? You won't hear this anywhere but here....
KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON MY FRIEND!