When I first held you in my arms I made a promise to always be there for you. Now it seems I break that promise more often than I keep it. You see when you were born I had big plans for the things we would do together and some of them we did, but many of them are forgotten ideas. I thought that with a big job promotion before you were born I would be able to afford the things I never got to do as a kid. I didn't know that I would indeed be able to afford to it, I just wouldn't have the time.
I had big plans, and I still do, the question is should I? You see I have fallen into the trap of parent guilt. Collectively speaking we all want more for our kids but can't seem to keep up with the perfect images and lives we see on FaceBook. Maybe that's where the problem lies - We wrack ourselves with guilt trying to keep up with the Kardashians, comparing our kids' lives with other people's kids, Even comparing our kids' lives to our own childhood when we should be living in the here and now.
When I was a kid I though I had it bad, looking back I see that those were awesome years I had with my brothers and my sister and of course my mom and dad. At the risk of sounding like an old dude reminiscing about the good ol' days I'll say that life was simpler back then. No cell phones, tablets or handheld video game consoles barring of course the GameBoy. The problem I think is that we naturally, almost by default, try to recreate our glory years for our kids. If you had freedom to roam the small town you grew up in dodging bullies and climbing to the roof of the school to get the balls that were kicked up there, then you might just find yourself seeking out a small town, with a small town school to live in. If you grew up in the boonies building forts in the woods, you might just find yourself trying to recreate the same environment for your kids.
It's completely natural to feel nostalgic about your youth, and there isn't even anything wrong with trying to give your kids the same experiences. But, and I don't have to tell you parents this, your kids are not you. They may have similar traits and take after either one of you, but they are their own unique people and wherever they grow up, however they grow up, they too will grow up an look at their formative years with nostalgia.
As long as you take the time to spend with them or let them play and grow in a less hands on kind of way. As long as you encourage them to learn and experience life, as long as you love them and teach them and show them how to follow Jesus, as long as you take the time to laugh and enjoy each other... Your kids will love their childhood.
Doesn't mean you shouldn't try to bring some of the experiences from your own childhood with you and let your kids experience them too, it just means that our kids don't know what life was like for us and in many ways we don't know what life is like for them. We can understand that because we have context but they don't and therefore can't wrap their heads around why it was fun to play in a ditch half full with muddy water. They will never understand what it was like to live in a house without air conditioning, to actually have to wait for their favorite show to come on Saturday morning. They don't know that just like our parents tried to give us everything we need, we do as well.
Someday our kids will also have kids, they will look back on these years and feel the warmth that we feel when we think back and they too will be ridden with the guilt of trying to give their kids all the same love we gave them.
Childhood years are the most beautiful, painful, awesome, sad, wonderful, dramatic times. And I for one hope that cycle will continue.
Thanks for reading.