There are literally tons of Christian blogs out there, theology, doctrine, eschatology. There are a bunch written by pastors, there are a bunch written by scholars and apologists. There are even a bunch done my Christian moms. But how many do you know that are done by Christian dads? A quick Google search revealed to me that there are almost none.
Despite what society will tell you today, men are the leaders of the family (1 Corinthians 11:3) and yet, the online presence of many men, Christian men included is limited to sports, weather, and unfortunately pornography. I'm not judging, I've been there. Not that we have to be online to prove that we are worthy fathers, but wanting to shout it from the rooftops, or from behind our computer screens that we belong to the Lord and that we intend to raise kids that will belong to Him as well is to me a good sign that we are committed to doing just that. Plus, it doesn't hurt that once you've proclaimed Jesus from your facebook page that doing things that Jesus wouldn't adds a little bit of accountability.
It's for the above reasons that I started this blog to begin with. That and I want to be out there for any dad who wants to read something from a dude's perspective without all the mushy stuff you usually find in the other Christian parenting blogs (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I say all of that to say this, fatherhood is hard! We are under a lot of pressure, from the world and how they think we should raise our kids, to our own expectations of what we want our kids to become, and everyone in between. In case you haven't noticed, everyone out there knows how to raise your kids better than you, it can be very hard to not blow-up when someone with some misguided, unsolicited advice comes up and dares to share it with you. Still, if you're like me, you do want some advice, sometimes.
Just this afternoon my seven year old son Austin got so mad he threw his iPad to the floor and stomped around the house crying and knocking over whatever he thought he could knock over without getting into trouble, why? His iPad died, and that was somehow my fault. The world at this point would tell me that I need to look at the real reason he was throwing a fit (as if the iPad dying unexpectedly isn't reason enough, there must be something else going on...). The advice I would get from the tough dads out there would be to whop his butt and put the fear of God into him. From the old school guys who were brought up getting there butts whopped, I would undoubtedly be told that spanking is biblical and therefore necessary for any reason at any time, I guarantee you that they would quote Proverbs 13:24 without even knowing it.
Point being, after his little tirade through the house I wasn't quite sure of what to do, how do you handle a temper tantrum like that? I could've done the old butt whoppin' but I know from experience that that only makes him angrier and it often ends in more anger than before, from him and from me. I could do the new age thing and lolly gag around the fact that he was being a big brat and ask him how it feels when the iPad dies and yada yada yada. Or, I could see that the very natural consequence for his behaviour has already happened - the iPad was effectively taken out of his hands. From there I could try to teach him that knocking things over and crying and stomping around the house does him no good. Together we could work on anger management skills so we don't run into this problem the next time he forgets to charge his iPad.
Admittedly, I am a softie, but I would go with the last one. Despite what the ol' Proverbs 13:24 guys will tell ya, gentleness and teaching are also found in the Bible as acceptable techniques, and I would argue there are more references to support it than the spanking. Don't get me wrong here, if you are a spanker, I support you. Especially if it works, I'm just saying that for me, and for many others, it doesn't. Here are a couple of those other references:
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Deuteronomy 6:6–7
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
That last one is my personal favorite, it's the one everyone forgets when they're telling me that I should spank that brat of mine. Look, all I'm trying to say here is that we would do better by our kids if we looked to the Bible for our parenting tips. We would do a lot better for our friends if we respected their parenting style instead of criticizing and judging, like I just did.
Anyway, these are my musings for the day, if you like them feel free to share, if you don't, then don't. Either way, thanks for reading.